She was strong!

I am sick and tired of DEATH!!

My Mother passed away 20 days short of her 65th Birthday.

She was a complex woman who suffered the physical ailments of Friedreich's Ataxia(FA); a rare, debilitating, life shortening, degenerative neuro-muscular disease.

Since her death in April of 2013, the thing that saddens me most is that I have come to know and understand her better after death than in her living years. To understand with a greater sensitivity and depth the extent of her emotional intensity and physical suffering.

She was a Daughter, Sister, Wife, Mother, Grandma, Aunt and Friend.

Born to two Alcoholic Parents while a teen she lost her Mother to Cancer and had to take on her Mother's responsibilities for her 4 Brothers and Father; one of her Brothers being Blind as well as Physically and Mentally Disabled, she became his Caretaker. Then as a Newlywed in her early 20's being diagnosed with a rare disease.

As a Wife she and her Husband were blessed with 3 Children; 2 Daughters and 1 Son, and later 7 Grandchildren. They were married 43years; 'til death do us part'.

Also suffering many tragic events in her life. Having to send one of her Brothers to prison for molesting her only Son. She watched her Oldest Daughter and Son turn to drugs and recklessness. She spent many years raising a Granchild. She sat through every court hearing and arraingment while her Son was arrested and sent to prison. She even suffered the heart ache of losing a child; her first-born and Mother to 4.

She woke up daily only to realize her body was prematurely aging and crippling more and more day after day. She dealt often with selfish, insensitive people being annoyed that she was either in their way or not moving fast enough, and at times thinking she was drunk due to her staggered walk and slurred speech.

She was strong for many reasons.

Stronger than I ever gave her credit for. Strong enough to defy all the doctors predictions. She is now a history maker! Surely to be mentioned as a subject in future medical journals. Surviving almost 7 years beyond the previous oldest woman with FA(being diagnosed early) who was only 58. She did it! She surpassed life expectancy.

She lived through, and dealt with, a lot.

She was strong!!

Miss you more than I ever thought I would. :(

Missing TaTa

In mid December of 2011 my strong Father in Law walked into a local clinic in Southern AZ and was admitted for a severe sinus infection that he had ignored, hoping it would go away.  After 1 day in that facility he was Ambulanced to another Hospital in the next major city. While there with our 5 little ones we got to spend some precious time with their TaTa. We also had the wonderful privilege of Santa visiting us in our Hotel room during our stay. Glad to know Santa can find you wherever you are. ;) ....and then off to see TaTa again. After a few more days, and things looking very hopeful, we said our sweet goodbyes and set off to home in the big city.

 Two weeks later to he was Heli-Vac'd to Central AZ to yet another Hospital. He was much closer to where we resided so we visited nearly daily.

Due to the severity and extensiveness of his infection, surgery was now required and he was in extremely capable hands at this top-notch medical facility. His infection had become bacterial and had spread behind his eye; which was protruding at this point. The decision was made to surgically to remove his eye since the pressure of the infection had caused the blood flow to be restricted and his vision was lost; as well as remove as much infection as possible.

A 2.5 hour surgery stretched to over 6 hours and the aftermath was nearly unrecognizable. His eye as well as his nose and much of his facial bone had been removed and if they had continued his facial/cranial structure would have been collapsed.

Our TaTa, after recovery and a few missing parts, was still spry and delightful with his grandchildren whom he adored. Though sadness began to set in, with all, that he would never be the same. :(

Doctors still did not have the infection under control and revealed the grim news that it had spread to the base of his skull and was now entering the brain.

To save you many more details, it was now late January and he was transferred back to the Southern AZ Hospital and over a week later to Hospice where he took his last breath on that February day with his devoted Wife, youngest Son and Grandson at his side.

He never got to walk out......

Who are you, anyway!?!

I have become a person I swore I would not become. I am at a place in our lives where I have to choose every day to enjoy being a Mom. Sad, I know. :( I have allowed the everyday stresses to overwhelm me.

Anxiety plagues me and I am finding myself being really resentful towards my Sister and the Biological Father of our girls. I feel as if we are cleaning up someone else's mess(I was thinking of another word, actually)! I know, not Christian of me, right!?! Well, Christian enough to be honest, not duplicitous! I have really been struggling here!!

Let me not deny the blessings in between... I love to see smiles and gather hugs and kisses. I relish the times I am in awe at the kind words or actions exchanged at random moments. I love to sit and enjoy the pleasant reactions to my cooking efforts. Or, to experience God coming through, yet again, for us financially... though I'm just certain that I have missed that much more by being overwhelmed by it all!

So, I've decided to change that!! "Help me, Lord. I CAN'T do this WITHOUT YOU!!" is my daily plea! He is coming through, but not with the bulldozer I was expecting to clean up all this mess. Patience is needed, but it is NOT my prayer(I made that mistake before.).

It's a Battlefield of my Mind. Ha. I know who wins, so I'm stepping aside.... :D

BIG To-Do!

I have so much to do!!!

Let me make a list so that I can maybe be more motivated to do so.


1. Read Scripture daily
2. Be on time!!
3. Plan a weekly Family Night
4. Make Healthier Choices
5.-97. ORGANIZE EVERYTHING!!
98. Smile more often
99. R-E-L-A-X
and, drum roll please
100. Remember "God's got this"!

Let the prayers pour in! Seriously, you can start praying for me any second now... ;)

Time Flies

Time Flies! Like, you haven't heard that one before!

We have been BUSY since I last blogged(even if it was my first).

We have since survived our 15th Anniversary, Halloween, 5 Birthdays(that's just in our immediate family, folks!), Thanksgiving, my parent's Anniversary, Christmas and New Year's since my last post. Blogging has obviously not been a priority! Ha.

Hayden is now 10, Claudia is 7, Monica & Logan are 6, and Crusty(huh hum, clearing throat), I mean Louie, is now  40!

Anywho, Sophia is next on the B-day roster set to turn 5 in less 3 weeks and then Brandon to be 21 in April. WooHoo!

Let the New Year begin...

Seriously!?!

So many crazy things are still going on in our lives lately, but, I'm happy to say, that it has actually settled down quite a bit from last year....

I know it doesn't really make sense to most of you. 

So to the rest of you, you know what I am talking about, I probably have about another 14 years until things are calm again........................but wait! Then they'll be older with adult drama! 

Oh my, are we in for a ride!! 

Seriously!?! 

8D