I have become a person I swore I would not become. I am at a place in our lives where I have to choose every day to enjoy being a Mom. Sad, I know. :( I have allowed the everyday stresses to overwhelm me.
Anxiety plagues me and I am finding myself being really resentful towards my Sister and the Biological Father of our girls. I feel as if we are cleaning up someone else's mess(I was thinking of another word, actually)! I know, not Christian of me, right!?! Well, Christian enough to be honest, not duplicitous! I have really been struggling here!!
Anxiety plagues me and I am finding myself being really resentful towards my Sister and the Biological Father of our girls. I feel as if we are cleaning up someone else's mess(I was thinking of another word, actually)! I know, not Christian of me, right!?! Well, Christian enough to be honest, not duplicitous! I have really been struggling here!!
Let me not deny the blessings in between... I love to see smiles and gather hugs and kisses. I relish the times I am in awe at the kind words or actions exchanged at random moments. I love to sit and enjoy the pleasant reactions to my cooking efforts. Or, to experience God coming through, yet again, for us financially... though I'm just certain that I have missed that much more by being overwhelmed by it all!
So, I've decided to change that!! "Help me, Lord. I CAN'T do this WITHOUT YOU!!" is my daily plea! He is coming through, but not with the bulldozer I was expecting to clean up all this mess. Patience is needed, but it is NOT my prayer(I made that mistake before.).
It's a Battlefield of my Mind. Ha. I know who wins, so I'm stepping aside.... :D
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